Question about Rule 12
I was teaching the rules this past weekend to a group of Spiritual Directors and had an important question come up about Rule 12 and stopping the snowball at the top of the mountain. She said what if someone can't stop it at the top? What if someone can't stop it at all. It's not that easy or simple and then they feel guilty, ashamed, a failure. . . (I think her context was with alcohol). We discussed that this is a tool box. That there are many different tools. It is important to understand that we are not alone and sometimes need a community or trusted to friend to help, how secrets are not helpful, etc. But I have felt uneasy about this rule. I remember teaching medical students and using a video clip of Bob Newhart as a therapist where he keeps repeating "Just stop it! Stop it!" And it is so funny. But unfortunately it's not that easy to just stop it, or we would have.
Any more thoughts? I'm teaching again at St. Benedicts this weekend in Nebraska. Thanks!
(I also posted this with the Teachers' group, but am looking for a timely answer so decided to include those here as well! Thank you!)
Hello! You are in Nebraska?! I am too, north of York. The Benedictine Center is wonderful.
For your question, I wonder if it would help to remember this rule is related to spiritual desolation, where struggling with alcohol would be non-spiritual desolation. While non-spiritual desolation often can lead into spiritual desolation, they are two different things. Physical addiction is powerful, but it’s something we would need a counselor to help us through, because it is physical.
As for the snowball rule, in my own life, I noticed at first I would be very far into the spiritual desolation before I realized what was happening. No shame in that, we’re doing our best. However, over time I started to realize (be aware as Father G puts it) earlier and earlier in the process. Not that it’s ever perfect, but it does start to become a little more second nature.
I hope that’s at least somewhat helpful.
Jenni