top of page

Questions & Answers

Public·25 members
golemanjanegolemanjane

Question about Rule 12

I was teaching the rules this past weekend to a group of Spiritual Directors and had an important question come up about Rule 12 and stopping the snowball at the top of the mountain. She said what if someone can't stop it at the top? What if someone can't stop it at all. It's not that easy or simple and then they feel guilty, ashamed, a failure. . . (I think her context was with alcohol). We discussed that this is a tool box. That there are many different tools. It is important to understand that we are not alone and sometimes need a community or trusted to friend to help, how secrets are not helpful, etc. But I have felt uneasy about this rule. I remember teaching medical students and using a video clip of Bob Newhart as a therapist where he keeps repeating "Just stop it! …

29 Views
Jenni DeWitt
Jenni DeWitt
3 days ago

Hello! You are in Nebraska?! I am too, north of York. The Benedictine Center is wonderful.


For your question, I wonder if it would help to remember this rule is related to spiritual desolation, where struggling with alcohol would be non-spiritual desolation. While non-spiritual desolation often can lead into spiritual desolation, they are two different things. Physical addiction is powerful, but it’s something we would need a counselor to help us through, because it is physical.


As for the snowball rule, in my own life, I noticed at first I would be very far into the spiritual desolation before I realized what was happening. No shame in that, we’re doing our best. However, over time I started to realize (be aware as Father G puts it) earlier and earlier in the process. Not that it’s ever perfect, but it does start to become a little more second nature.


I hope that’s at least somewhat helpful.

Jenni

bryanochsbryanochs

Lacey/Yelm WA Discernment Series

Hello all!


I just wanted to give an update on some good news. This is Fr. Bryan Ochs, pastor of Sacred Heart Church in Lacey, WA, St. Columban Catholic Church in Yelm WA, and St. Peter in Tenino WA. Today we just had our first of 5 classes on Discernment of Spirits and wanted to give an update and encouragement to other teachers.


We had a morning session and Evening Session with 125 people total between the two. This was advertised in our parish bulletin, and I promoted it from the pulpit at Mass, and I offered personal invitations. It was pitched as "Overcoming Spiritual Discouragement," at the suggestion of Fr. Gallagher.


People were able to sign up online. I think we actually had more people there than actual signups. We made the book optional, and I would say about 2/3 of the participants bought the book. We sold …


160 Views
debrablack
debrablack
Jan 23

You're our Bellingham homeboy Fr. Ochs and we love you! I'm heartened to hear this is going well. Please keep us updated on the challenges as well as the fruits. God bless you!

Edited
Kelly RamirezKelly Ramirez

Spouses not in alignment

Hello all,

I am a spiritual director who has a directee who is married. This directee is in the process of becoming certified to be a spiritual director. One of her 'strengths' is her knowledge of and keen interest in Discernment of Spirits and she has taken several courses over the past couple of years. She has spoken to me at length during our sessions about the struggles in her marriage - mainly that her husband periodically tells her that during a discussion they have had, he feels she is criticizing him and condemning him. She mentioned a comment her husband said to her after she sent him a text to support him one day she knew he had a hard day at work ahead of him. His comment to her the next day was that he doubted whether she really meant it or not. Her question to …


152 Views
myavarone
Nov 30, 2025

Dear Kelly,

Thank you for posting on the IDI site, and for your work as a spiritual director!

Because of the individual and personal nature of your question, it may be best addressed to your supervisor. I will give only a general guideline which admits of exceptions. If a directee is seeing a marraige counselor, particlularly one who understands the importance of faith, I encourage them to address to their counselor any questions about how they relate to their spouse. As she puts into practice the advice she receives during marriage counseling, she will have plenty of movements of spirits, and these are the purview of spiritual direction. This prevents me from becoming a de facto second counselor, which would be outside of my area of expertise and might lead to conflicting advice.

I will remember you at Evening Prayer tonight.


In Christ and the Virgin Mary,

Fr. Mark Yavarone, OMV

myavaronemyavarone

Which of Ignatius' rules is your favorite? Why?


162 Views
Holly Novotny
Holly Novotny
Jan 17

Rule 5 and Rule 14. I know you asked for one, but I currently find it impossible to choose between these two. A surprise for everyone, I know, that I am contrary. 😏 Why? 5 is a failsafe for everyone all the time - it protects us from making decisions or changes when we may not be listening to the Good Spirit. 14 because if we are attentive to the crumbly bits of our castle walls (weakness, unhealed or untended wounds, etc.), we are prepared to seek assistance for strength and repair there, helping in future attacks, distractions, and temptations. We are not just passively waiting for what might happen next, but deliberately working on building virtue and awareness and deeper trust in our Defender.

    Members

    See All Members (25)
    bottom of page