IDI Teachers' Forum

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August 23, 2026

The Ignatian Rules and grieving

I recently taught the Ignatian Rules to a group of Spiritual Directors. It was a more abbreviated format. Two weeks later I had the opportunity to interact with a colleague who was there. He said he enjoyed my teaching, but had a difficult time with some of the Rules. He is in desolation, maybe both spiritual and nonspiritual. His wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about 4 weeks ago. He said he had been taught to feel his feelings and pay attention to them. He said that after about 3 days of sitting with the Lord each morning, he and the Lord had worked it out and he realized that there are some things he could be doing. That was all that I had the opportunity to hear/discuss. As I sat this morning asking for insight, I realized that my friend is grieving. And I think that might be…

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golemanjane

Aug 24

Thank you Debra

golemanjane

August 11, 2026

Question about Rule 12

I was teaching the rules this past weekend to a group of Spiritual Directors and had an important question come up about Rule 12 and stopping the snowball at the top of the mountain. She said what if someone can't stop it at the top? What if someone can't stop it at all. It's not that easy or simple and then they feel guilty, ashamed, a failure. . . (I think her context was with alcohol). We discussed that this is a tool box. That there are many different tools. It is important to understand that we are not alone and sometimes need a community or trusted to friend to help, how secrets are not helpful, etc. But I have felt uneasy about this rule. I remember teaching medical students and using a video clip of Bob Newhart as a therapist where he keeps repeating "Just stop it! …

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myavarone

Aug 22

I sincerely want to thank all those who responded to the question asked by “golemanjane,” and I will add my two cents.

The posts that have reminded us to make the distinction between spiritual and non-spiritual desolation are right on target.

Let’s suppose that a person who is striving to make progress in their walk with the Lord and also striving to make progress on the road to sobriety has a fall and drinks again. They are likely to experience spiritual desolation at their failure, and the thoughts that follow from their desolation may be as follows: “You did it again; you will never be any better than you are; God has lost His patience with you; He can’t possibly love you anymore after these repeated failures.”

Now is the moment for the person to realize that there is a NEW opportunity to apply Rule 12 by resisting the spiritual desolation right at its beginning, even if they did not resist the temptation to drink at its beginning. By using the means to combat spiritual desolation described in Rule 6 and by doing so promptly, they can shatter the power of the spiritual desolation to harm them, although the danger from alcohol remains very real.

As hinted by Debra, acting against the temptation of spiritual discouragement will likely also assist them in their battle against alcohol, even though the two temptations are qualitatively different.

Fr. Mark Yavarone, OMV

Maryallyn Black

January 18, 2026

Retreats on 12 steps and discernment

I wanted to share a little joy with fellow teachers of discernment. From 11/21–11/23, I had the gift of facilitating a retreat for women in recovery that brought together the Ignatian Discernment of Spirits and the Twelve Steps of AA. The weekend was powerful and grace-filled, and the women spoke so beautifully about how helpful the discernment tools were—more than a few described the experience as life-changing.

I’m really encouraged by what unfolded and am looking forward to offering a workshop in April on the Discernment of Spirits and the Twelve Steps. Grateful to be walking this path with others who care about sharing this wisdom where it’s so needed.

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Holly Novotny

Jan 27

This is fantastic! It is wonderful to hear how others are using the material and sharing it in different applications. I'm currently working on a healing retreat and this gave me an idea for one of the retreat talks. (@myavarone, this forum was a brilliant idea!)