IDI Teachers' Forum

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August 23, 2026

The Ignatian Rules and grieving

I recently taught the Ignatian Rules to a group of Spiritual Directors. It was a more abbreviated format. Two weeks later I had the opportunity to interact with a colleague who was there. He said he enjoyed my teaching, but had a difficult time with some of the Rules. He is in desolation, maybe both spiritual and nonspiritual. His wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about 4 weeks ago. He said he had been taught to feel his feelings and pay attention to them. He said that after about 3 days of sitting with the Lord each morning, he and the Lord had worked it out and he realized that there are some things he could be doing. That was all that I had the opportunity to hear/discuss. As I sat this morning asking for insight, I realized that my friend is grieving. And I think that might be…

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godsgrizzlybar

Oct 07

I like and agree with what has been said thus far. Grief is obviously natural and needs to be worked through. And it takes times and whatever else is necessary to process well. However, without overstepping too much into deliverance ministry and the like, I believe there is a spirit of toxic grief which can keep one overly focused on the losses and pain much like another false sadness I call self-pity. One will have to experience and discern the nature of this. Another false sadness of this sort I can give name to is envy.

Edited

golemanjane

August 11, 2026

Question about Rule 12

I was teaching the rules this past weekend to a group of Spiritual Directors and had an important question come up about Rule 12 and stopping the snowball at the top of the mountain. She said what if someone can't stop it at the top? What if someone can't stop it at all. It's not that easy or simple and then they feel guilty, ashamed, a failure. . . (I think her context was with alcohol). We discussed that this is a tool box. That there are many different tools. It is important to understand that we are not alone and sometimes need a community or trusted to friend to help, how secrets are not helpful, etc. But I have felt uneasy about this rule. I remember teaching medical students and using a video clip of Bob Newhart as a therapist where he keeps repeating "Just stop it! …

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golemanjane

Oct 06

Leisa,

Thank you so much for your response. It is so full of grace and truth. I love your words and they are so helpful to me as I have consider more teaching opportunities. Thanks for your thoughtfulness and time.

Maryallyn Black

January 18, 2026

Retreats on 12 steps and discernment

I wanted to share a little joy with fellow teachers of discernment. From 11/21–11/23, I had the gift of facilitating a retreat for women in recovery that brought together the Ignatian Discernment of Spirits and the Twelve Steps of AA. The weekend was powerful and grace-filled, and the women spoke so beautifully about how helpful the discernment tools were—more than a few described the experience as life-changing.

I’m really encouraged by what unfolded and am looking forward to offering a workshop in April on the Discernment of Spirits and the Twelve Steps. Grateful to be walking this path with others who care about sharing this wisdom where it’s so needed.

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Holly Novotny

Jan 27

This is fantastic! It is wonderful to hear how others are using the material and sharing it in different applications. I'm currently working on a healing retreat and this gave me an idea for one of the retreat talks. (@myavarone, this forum was a brilliant idea!)